Dear Dorgy,

It’s been more than eight months since you left us, but I still can’t quite accept it. Probably it’s the hardest part – to accept the loss. I don’t tell anyone but I think of you every single day. Some little things remind me of you so many times each day that it became normal.

Seeing memories on facebook, hearing what other people say, or just taking my phone and seeing your photo as a screensaver…In all photographs you look so full of life and so happy.

Happy…that’s how I stopped feeling when you left. You left and took my happiness with you. Of course, I can joke and laugh at many things but deep inside I feel sad and swallow the tears.

I couldn’t even imagine how happy you were making me every day. And now I feel heartbroken and a little bit lost.

I can’t bring myself to making your photo album which I started thinking about long time ago. But every time I open your folder I feel heartache and get upset. So I just close it. Sometime I look at a few shots and become surprised and devastated seeing the progress of your illness that was so subtle to us. Yes, you lost a lot of weight but we didn’t realise how fast it happened.

Anyway, I don’t want to remember you skinny and ill. I want to remember you happy and alive. Your spirit was so positive that made everyone feel instant joy.

I hope you are happy where ever you are, my boy! Missing you so much!

Love, me